


Saturated

by Nemamka



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Victor Nikiforov, speaking each other's language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 04:32:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10429158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemamka/pseuds/Nemamka
Summary: Viktor is just. so in love, you guys. It's almost too much to bear. But he'll manage.





	

Street light sneaked into the apartment, only dimmed by the thin curtains. He could see the silhouette of all the objects in the room; the edge of the bed, the planks of the bookshelf, the vase on top of the cupboard, the curve of the little bedside table. Half-rim glasses glinted under the lamp. The person next to him breathed slowly in and out under the covers. Everything was fine.

He felt the air escaping from his lungs as if they were compressed. His chest felt like somebody put a ton of weight on it, and soon his throat tightened, too. He tried to keep his breathing steady but like a wave, a need to flee flooded all over him. He sat, pushing himself up with one arm, turned and let his feet dangle from the mattress. His fingers dug into the sheets, shaking. 

He bit his lips, they were quivering so much. He squeezed his eyes shut and struggled for air, the sharp breath he took accompanied the first tear rolling down his cheek. He bent forward, grabbing his hair with both hands, leaning on his knees. His head already hurt somewhere behind his eyes. 

The softest voice called his name from behind. 

He put a hand on his mouth even though it was too late to stay quiet now. The covers shuffled and he felt the cushioning sink close to him. 

“Viktor?” A caring but determined whisper. “Is it okay if I touch you?” 

He nodded frantically because he needed him to do it. Yuuri didn’t hesitate a second; he crawled up close behind, pulling him into his lap. He put his forehead against his back and hugged him, loose enough to let the heaves of his sobbing move his sides up and down. 

Nothing was wrong, but everything was… off. Off the usual path. Just out of the ordinary, one step further from the routine, away from the expected. Better, but so, so different, that his mind couldn’t take it. Sometimes. 

So on those nights, his body gave in to the sensations that never seemed to fade into familiar; it gave up on trying to hold them all. They slipped through his fingers like the unstoppable tears, which would dry, of course, eventually. He could sort out his feelings, of course. Eventually. They were just a little bit too many. 

Before, there had been skating. A father who didn’t care but also a coach that did. Friends instead of siblings. A young prodigy’s faith. 

But… 

Yuuri. 

There were no words for Yuuri, that was why it was so hard. He pushed his heart and soul to come up with something but he could never be grateful enough. He was someone who lit up his whole world, someone who made stepping forward fun, someone who gave meaning to staying in one place. 

He had saved him. He had pulled him back from the edge; from the dull. From the arid, from the colorless. From the dead. And sometimes he felt just as empty as before, because he couldn’t find the ability to thank him for all that. To express how much he cared. To say it out loud. Nothing was enough for that.

He finally pulled Yuuri’s hand from his chest. 

“I’ll… I’ll turn around, okay…?” 

Yuuri silently withdrew and welcomed him back with open arms. Viktor climbed into his lap, putting his legs around his hips, and held onto him as if they weren’t going to survive till morning, clutching his own t-shirt on the man. He buried his face in his neck and tried to control his weeping just so he could listen to the other heartbeat. Even that sounded selfish, if he was honest to himself. 

“Shhh.”

“I… I don’t know wh… what’s w-wrong with me…”

Yuuri hugged him so tight he could feel some pieces of him forging back together. His voice was a balm to the soul and Viktor’s whimpering calmed, forcing himself to hear. 

“Shhh, it’s okay. No one really knows. But there are so many _rights_ with you, Viktor. So many. And I am here too. I love you so much.” 

Viktor raised his head and cupped Yuuri’s cheeks in his palms. 

“Я тебя люблю…” 

If the widening eyes and that incredulous, fond smile weren’t enough clues: he said it in his mother tongue for the first time. Yuuri blinked and looked deep into his eyes, wine-brown irises glowing warm and sincere in the faint dusk.

“愛してる,Viktor.” 

He exhaled and reached out to wipe the last tears off Viktor’s cheekbones. Just like that, he turned his desperation into a smile. He turned the shackles into caresses, the iron into molten gold. Like always. 

“I’m sorry I woke you up.” 

“I’m not. You can, okay? You’re allowed, any time you need me, Viktor.” 

He swallowed and drew a shaky breath. 

“I know it’s not like that, but… I still want to _deserve_ you. Every day of my life. I want to just…” 

He couldn’t finish the sentence, but Yuuri understood as he hoped he would. He pressed his lips to his forehead for a long moment before getting their eyes level again. Viktor’s dewy, Yuuri’s full of devotion.

“Okay. And I’ll let you. Stay by my side.” 

He lay back down on the pillows. Yuuri pulled the covers over both of them and snuggled close, becoming the big spoon, with an arm around Viktor. 

They would be on a new path tomorrow. Just out of the ordinary, shaking up the routine, far away from the expected. Different, and _so_ much better, it would blow their minds sometimes. 

Sunlight burst into the apartment, only slightly dimmed by the thin curtains. You could see warm color drip into everything in the room; titles of books lost behind picture frames, flowers still in bloom on top of the cupboard, half-rim glasses on the bedside table winking at medals hung on the opposite wall. Two people breathing love slowly in and out under the covers. Everything was fine. 

**Author's Note:**

> Я тебя люблю: Ya tebya lyublyu.  
> 愛してる: Ai shiteru.


End file.
